In the far corner of my grandma’s kitchen, below the telephone and in the bottom drawer, is where my grandma stored all her old aprons. Most of them were the ones that tied around the waist, some of them the kind you wouldn’t really cook in they were so nice (like the sheer and frilly organza one), some I think were made by my great-grandmother. Whenever I was at my grandma’s house I’d make a beeline for that drawer and spend hours tying all the aprons around my waist to make a big poufy skirt. I’d twirl and twirl and twirl.

Sometimes my grandma would tell me to choose one apron and come help her in the kitchen. I’d sit on the shiny red vinyl stool at the big wooden island and wait patiently for instructions. I remember one such day when we were about to bake. She’d go in and out of her pantry and place what seemed to me countless ingredients on the island: flour, sugar, salt, baking soda, baking powder. Then, the biggest bar of chocolate I’d ever seen. Mind you, I must have been around four or five years old and at that moment my grandma seemed like Willy Wonka. She saw the look in my eyes (she raised five daughters, she knew the look) and said to me,”That’s baking chocolate, honey, it’s not sweet.” I didn’t listen and the next time she turned her back for another pantry trip I bent down and scraped my little teeth on the big bar of chocolate.

“Eeeeeeew!”

“I told you, dear,” my grandma said sweetly, giggling a bit.

Oh how I loved those days. But apparently I didn’t learn much. On a trip to Mexico I found a bag of cocoa nibs at a sweets shop and bought them. Cocoa nibs are chocolate in their purest form. They’re roasted cocoa beans that haven’t been crushed and transformed into unsweetened chocolate. In a nutshell (or nib), they are definitely not sweet.

Barnaby said to me, just like my grandma all those years ago, “They’re not sweet, you know.” I knew (even though I’d never tasted one), but I popped one defiantly in my mouth anyway. It wasn’t the “Eeeeew!” I experienced in my grandma’s kitchen, but it wasn’t necessarily “yuuuum!” either, at least at first. After chewing it a bit I was able to get past the bitter taste and enjoy the lovely natural cocoa flavors.

Best of all, it made me remember that day spent baking with my grandma and the first time I snuck a taste of baking chocolate.

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