Jamie Oliver's Healthy Snack Line Revealed

April 29, 2011

Now that Jamie Oliver has convinced schools to take the unhealthy food out, the chef is working on what to put back in. Oliver has devised a low-cal and animal product-free line of snacks to be distributed under his new Eat What We Tell You label.

Here are what the kids can look forward to:

1. Bitter Chocolate Water - No sugar, no dairy, just heart-healthy 100% cacao artfully blended with pure spring H2O.

2. Virtual M&Ms - Using sophisticated spherification technology, organic skim milk is magically turned into crispy, hollow spheres brightly colored with locally sourced vegetable dyes.

3. Baked Fiber Snacks - Non-fat, gluten-free wood pulp is pulverized, then reformed into tasty triangles, dusted with chia-flavored protein powder, and baked in pollution-free wood-burning ovens.

4. Lawn Chaws -To make these sustainable treats, hand-mown hypoallergenic grass cuttings are puréed, air-dried, extruded through mercury-free molds, and formed into mini-pretzels. Those big "salt crystals" they're covered with? Just flakes of tangy citric acid.

5. Surprise Bags -The ultimate low-fat, low-calorie, environment-friendly treat, these small containers of microfiltered air, delicately perfumed with the scent of tofu, disintegrate into biodegradable nano-particles when opened, pleasing the olfactory senses while having absolutely no impact at all on the real world.

Oh boy! Not sure if anyone wants grass cuttings or anything delicately perfumed with tofu. Is this too much?

Photo by: Scandic Hotels