Cooking isn't always the neat, sophisticated activity Martha Stewart and Sandra Lee would have us believe; these aggressive kitchen accessories are ideal for edgy cooks who understand that sometimes the kitchen is a battlefield. Whether your adversary is a tough steak, hot pot, underseasoned dish or a rogue countertop spill, these tools, kitchen decor and appliances have you covered.
1. Pop Art Toaster (ThinkGeek): This Pop Art Toaster may look like a retro 50s toaster, but the cheeky phrases and silly faces it prints on toast are anything but old-school. The printed templates are removable for occasions in which you'd rather have a plain piece of toast.
2. Taste Explosion Salt and Pepper Shakers (ThinkGeek): Foodies and television personalities often describe well-seasoned dishes as "flavor explosions," and these grenade-shaped salt and pepper shakers let you emulate that catchphrase at home. The shakers are made of dishwasher-safe, food-safe porcelain.
3. Mr. T Tea for One (LennyMud): Mr. T from The A-Team is the consummate bad boy, and this pun-loving tea set includes a teapot and a tea mug. The teapot is emblazoned with Mr. T's mug, and is perfect for those mornings in which you pity the fool who hasn't given you the time to enjoy your tea.
4. China Brass Knuckles (TheBrokenPlate): These immaculate life-sized brass knuckles are made of repurposed Blue Willow Ware china. If you'd rather not wear brass knuckles, the seller can make them into a necklace for you at the time of purchase.
5. Grenade Kitchen Towels (MoxieMadness): The pink hue of this grenade-covered kitchen towel adds a touch of whimsy to a most aggressive icon of battle. The towel is 100 percent cotton, and the pink ink is hand-mixed.
6. Pistol Bar Towel (Branch Handmade): These bar towels feature a red screen-printed vintage pistol on white cotton. The screen print was made from a photo the artists captured of a vintage gun discovered while antiquing.
7. Gun Mug (SeanHages): This revolver mug is a bit different than the other gun coffee mugs on the market in that artist Sean Hages makes each one by hand with a press mold and a pottery wheel. As Hages quips, "Happiness is a warm gun mug."
8. Crime Scene Trivet (Animi Causa): These whimsical -- albeit a bit morbid -- trivets are in the shape of crime scene outlines. They come in red or white, and are made of heat-safe silicone.
9. Razor Bottle Opener (Animi Causa): This bottle opener looks like a razor, but its edges are rounded to avoid injury. It's an edgy statement piece that's sure to spark some conversation.
10. Knuckle Pounder Meat Tenderizer (Amazon): Nothing pounds soft flesh like brass knuckles, and these knuckleduster meat tenderizers let cooks pretend they're in the mob. The tenderizer is made of heavy aluminum alloy and is sure to stand up to any cut of meat.
Photos by ThinkGeek / ThinkGeek / LennyMud / TheBrokenPlate / MoxieMadness / Branch Handmade / SeanHages / Animi Causa / Animi Causa / Amazon
