French Bakers Tell Kanye West He Will Have to Continue Waiting for Croissants

September 5, 2013

French bakers have written a letter to Kanye West, telling the rapper that you simply cannot rush a great croissant. 

The Association of French Bakers wrote the letter after hearing lyrics of West's song "I am God." The lyrics include "In a French-ass restaurant / Hurry up with my damn croissants." In response, the association wrote a letter to West, in the hopes that he'll reconsider trying to rush restaurants in their croissant-making process. They then, brilliantly, bring up the fact that West also raps about being God and urge him to use his divine intervention to speed up the baking process. 

"We could easily let this water pass under the bridge, as they say, but we take your lyrics very seriously. From the other lines in the song, we have come to understand that you may in fact be a 'God.' Yet if this were the case -- and we, of course, take you at your word -- we wonder why you do not more frequently employ your omnipotence to change time and space to better suit your own personal whims," the letter reads. "For us mere mortals, we must wait the time required for the croissant to come to perfect fruition, but as a deity, you can surely alter the bread's molecular structure faster than the speed of light, no? And with your omniscience, perhaps you have something to teach us about the perfect croissant. We await your guidance and insights." 

You can read the rest of the letter here

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