Why Your Server Hates Your Guts
By: Becky Bracken
Published: May 31, 2011

A quick look around any local restaurant will tell you plenty about why today's servers are surlier than ever. From texting to whining, people have turned eating out into an etiquette nightmare, according to a recent Zagat article that lists the top 8 things people do in a restaurant to make their server hate them. 
Have you ever ordered while texting or talking on the phone? Your server hates that. Have you ever gone into the kitchen to tell your server something? Again, a big no-no. 
There are other foodie faux pas, including asking for "water for the table" and asking for separate checks. 
You might be surprised how easy it is to get underneath the server's skin.

Comments:
Patrick
May 31, 2011

Wow, texting or talking on the phone while the server is waiting to do their job is unbelievably rude. However, separate checks, while complicated, are usually the best way to handle that kind of situation. It's a customer need, and I'm sorry but the server is there to fulfill these needs. It is not an unreasonable request. Water for the table? Never heard anyone ask it, doesn't really sound like it belongs on a top 8 list.
Robin

People do ask for "water for the table" all of the time. Not only is it wasteful and pompous, but usually most of the water goes untouched. 
The problem with asking for separate checks is that for however many extra checks are added to a table, it takes that much longer to cash a table out. If a table is prepared to wait for the extra time it takes, it is less frustrating for the server, but few people are that patient. Furthermore, it forces other tables to wait longer to have their needs addressed. Also, asking for separate checks after the food has been ordered is unreasonable. Going back into a computer system and rearranging an order can be a nightmare. Most restaurant bills are clearly itemized anyway. Can people truly not recognize what they order on a receipt and then do simple math?
seesayusa

And of course, we are only there to please the server.  Just ask him or her,  that is if you can get their attention before they duck into a corner of the server station to answer a text message or before they slip out the door on a smoke break, just as you find that, not only is the soup they delivered cold, but they forgot the crackers. 
Of all the staff in a restaurant, servers appear least able to comprehend the tangible connection between how well they take care of customers and the overall well-being of the restaurant, and, by extension, the security of  their own jobs.
thewordengine

Having worked in the industry for 15 years, I'd like to add my two cents to this thread. Asking for water for the table is rude, however, my main pet peeve is when you are standing at a table waiting to take an order and one person sits and talks to everyone as if you are not there. I will admit however, that there are few customer infractions that cannot be overcome with a proper and generous tip.
thewordengine

Having worked in the business for 15 years, I will say that asking for water for the table is rude, however, my personal pet peeve is when you are standing table side waiting to take an order and one person talks to the table as if you are not there. Still, there are very few customer infractions that cannot be resolved with a proper and generous tip at the end of the meal.
Amy

As a former server, I was never offended when someone ordered water for the table, but then, my entire family drinks water, so I guess it is a matter of opinion.  Texting or talking on the phone while the server is waiting for you is really rude, but then, servers often make a lot of etiquette mistakes themselves.  How many realize that it is INSANELY rude to clear a table before the last person if finished eating?  This happens all of the time!  Reaching across patrons to give or get something?  Another eitquette faux-pas that is often practiced by servers.  The street goes both ways.